Following Up With Your Mentee

It’s not uncommon to feel ghosted by a mentee. Maybe a mentee reached out you responded and you didn’t hear back. Or maybe you met once and never heard another word. The power dynamic of mentor/mentee relationships are complicated, but there are things you can say.

Request, but no word after that:

It feels unprofessional and inappropriate. If this were a networking contact you would be angry. Luckily, you’re a mentor not just a networking contact.

You can avoid the negativity bias and consider ways you can help this mentee.

So, here we go into ways you can be a mentor to this person. 

You may send a message that includes:

• I know life can get busy. 
• I’m sure you have quite a lot going on. 
• In a professional networking, don’t forget to respond when you ask for someone’s time. I’m happy to help you learn more!
• I see that it is *look at the academic calendar, is it mid-terms? Finals? homecoming?*, would you like to set a time to connect once your schedule slows down? How about we chat in 2 weeks?

One Meeting, no thank you/follow up:

• I know life can get busy. 
• I’m sure you have quite a lot going on. 
• Have you had a chance to *mention advice to gave*?
• In a professional networking, don’t forget to show gratitude someone shares their time with you. I’m happy to help you learn more!
• I see that it is *look at the academic calendar, is it mid-terms? Finals? homecoming?*, would you like to set a time to connect once your schedule slows down? How about we chat in 2 weeks?

This is awkward. How frequently should I check in?

It’s reasonable to expect that one message may pass them by. You also don’t want to pressure them and make them feel uncomfortable. A second follow up is reasonable.

You may say:

• I saw this *article/podcast/video* and thought it related to what we discussed. Hopefully you will find it useful.
• I don’t want to bother you or make you feel uncomfortable. If you would like to meet again, I am happy to set aside some time in my schedule.
• Congratulations on making a great choice to meet with alumni. If you continue to make choices like this you are certainly setting yourself up for success.

It is certainly hard to make strong choices to help you mentee. Thank you for taking extra time to help them prepare for the future.